Sweet Nothings

So I was watching this movie (Yeah that's it. No mile-long intro this time. I frankly don't have the time, or patience ) "A Little Bit Of Heaven" (great movie by the way!) and as I was crying uncontrollably and blowing my nose ( very loudly and disgustingly I might add) I realized . .. . . . . nothing.
Yes, indeed. There was no epiphany, no dawning of anything upon me. No strange halo of light surrounding me, nothing, zero. Why you might ask? Don't. I have no answer for you. I am random. Deal with it.
So anyways back to me crying and soiling a perfectly good towel (disgusting I know, but hey there wasn't a napkin nearby). I was being carried away by this wave of emotion that was washing over me, leaving me bleached, erasing my identity and leaving me a whisper in the wind. I ceased to exist. And I loved every minute of it.

source: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPszvwP4B0BAQB5-qlQx8xEG89aVK6t1BY30jPqw07F_g9BQqaFhLEzqOQbytmjfTKJWGd6n0UiL1HllGbyQ_YvJ_n0yvHvl8Fi4Z_lgXozHIE_3KogRrQ5nozx0yj1n5dJQPplUwkN-c/s1600/ALBOH_Quad2.jpg

It wasn't the movie. I mean not this movie in particular. It's me. I do that. I get so absorbed in the silver screen. I feel every heartbreak of the protagonist as poignantly as if it were my own, I shed tears of sorrow at the death of a character. I blush like a retard during the romantic scenes, fall off the sofa hysteric with laughter during the funny ones, wring my hands with anticipation during the tense moments and scream obscenities and hurl free advice at the leads when I know they're about to do something stupid.
So in short I go through every spectrum of emotion that life has to offer me all in an hour or two. And like I said love every minute of it.

source: http://learntoembracethestruggle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/kid-laughing.jpg

Cinema to me is sacred. The theater is my altar and the stars are my deities. Movies offer me a serenity that I desperately need. They give me a break from my life. I drown in the movie and resurface at the end of it, refreshed and rejuvenated. Quality cinema is a gift from the heavens to me. I have always appreciated everything beautiful in life and it is but natural that I would gravitate toward films.
They have so much to offer! Watching a film is like dreaming with your eyes open. It's an insight into the working of the human mind. A direct route to the soul of a human being.  It's satisfying that tiny part in you that still believes in magic and unicorns and happy endings.
I have always been a movie buff but its only recently that I have acknowledged the important niche they occupy in my life. Anything that strengthens my belief in life is dear to me actually. It is not only movies that capture my fancy and make my heart skip a beat. In fact all multi-media manage to serenade me pretty well. Books and songs have their place high up in the list, TV too. Sleep also. I love sleeping. It's my most favorite thing to do in the world.

source: http://maternityinstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/how-much-sleep-does-my-child-need1.jpg
  
Anything that whisks me away from reality gets me hooked. I love it when I get the chance to forget the rest of the world and be suspended in limbo with nothing to worry about. It's flying, floating in a pool of cool water. It's like dreaming with your eyes open. (I said that already didn't I?) Like getting high but without any of the harmful side-effects. It's not like I have anything against reality but then everyone needs to blow off steam once in a while and I guess movies are my way of doing that! I am a worrywart. And left to my own devices I would probably convince myself that the world is all dark and evil and smelly. And would probably grow up to be a lonely old woman sitting in a corner cackling away to herself about the latest conspiracy theories.
Stuff like cinema, books and music play their part in keeping me normal and sane. They are by my opinion the pinnacle of mankind's evolution. They make me feel. They restore my faith in humanity and let me see the bright side of things. They are the sweet nothings that help me endure. They are the side dish to the amazing main course: Life.

source: http://www.empowernetwork.com/jlaguerre91/files/2013/03/winning-at-life.jpg












 

Cry Me A River

What do yo do when your gut wrenches with unimaginable grief? Your eyes brim with tears of anger that leave a trail of hot streaks on your cheek?
What do you do when the magnitude of your gratitude is too collosal to be expressed through words? When your eyes turn skyward and your heart burns with relief so fierce that you feel as if you were burning up?
What do you do when the tug of emotion is so gentle and heart numbing that it leaves you breathless? When you overflow with love and peace and everything in between? When the ecstasy in you paints colorful and ethereal pictures in your mind?
What do you do when your spirit soars? And triumph, more potent than any drug lies sweet, on the tip of your tongue? When you are gripped with that unerring faith that everything wil come through . . . . .
What do you do?
You cry yourself a river.

Tears are Gods way of telling you that yes, you are fragile and that's perfectly okay. Tears are your constant companions through the good and the bad. Admittedly mostly through the bad,still who denies that a good cry can be therapeutic at times. Tears are a way of letting you know that you've reached your endurance point but that once you stop to rest for a while you'll be ready to stand up and fight again. Tears  expose the most vulnerable part of you. Honest tears, lay bare your intentions and strip you of your pretentious notions.
They lead you to a realm in the human mind which is understood by few. The realm of emotion. Where every strand of thought is unapologetically colored in innumerable hues, bright and blinding. The part of you that makes you coo at babies, the part that makes you giggle when rejuvenating rain strikes your face, the part of you that few have access to, the real you.
Today connecting with oneself has become next to impossible. Pressures at your workplace, a boss to impress, a mother to hide an illegality from, the leader of the clique who means next to nothing to you yet who you still insist on flattering. . . . .
Such deceptions not only create an alien persona of yourself to others but also alienate you from yourself as well. The real you is the person in the mirror, who you come home to everyday and who you secretly have to live with. Trust your emotions, they speak the truest of you. Truest, not the best. But that's okay because you are obligated to believe in yourself, even if you don't like what you're seeing! Great things start with the proper vision.The moon lay around for centuries but never did it seem so attainable a prospect until scientist hungered for it to be in their grasp. They had vision. All great people do.

source: http://drkimfoster.com/2012/08/03/can-stress-shorten-your-life/

My mission in life was to learn detachment. To stop feeling quite so much. To stop being hurt by the people around me. But then I realized its sort of like what the ostrich does : sticking your head in the ground and wishing the danger away. The more I try to push my feelings away the more I become biscuit.  Feelings are the essence of life, push them away and you lead a bland existence. More stable, yes but all the less intriguing. Life is like an ocean, calm come days, whipping up a frenzy the next. But there is one thing about it you cant deny; be it a calm sparkly day wherein the waves are mere ripples on the surface and the sunlight glints like gems on the surface of the sea or a dark, boisterous, stormy day, wherein the waves refused to be tamed and howl and screech like demented creatures, you cannot deny, the sight is still beautiful and awe inspiring.
I'm trying my best to hit the curve balls life throws at me. I make mistakes everyday but it doesn't change the fact that for every mistake I learn ten times. And that realization sometimes manages to comfort me when I feel all is bleak and damp.
 So yeah, sometimes I cry myself a river, but you know the best thing about rivers? They take you wherever you wanna go!

source: http://voiceofheart-bijaylaxmi.blogspot.in/2012/05/the-river-of-compassion.html

Route No. 18

I felt like Columbus when I first stumbled upon my accidental treasures. My bus mates. My extended family. Sometimes you just get lucky. You hit the right combination, wake up on the right side of the bed, strike the right note whatever you call it . . . . and boy did I hit the jackpot with those guys! My class 9 year will forever be branded as the best year of my school life solely because of them. I stepped into their world quite by accident and they swept me away before I really knew what hit me!

I remember the first day I sat my behind down on one of the dingy seats in an equally dingy bus which surprisingly was carpeted . . . on the roof. My brother and I were expected to travel in this wheezy, stuffy vehicle a grand total of 14 Kms up and down everyday to reach school. I was politely requested to get my behind off, the seat I had seated it on by a girl who appeared far too young to talk to me like that. I don't remember who she was but I remember she was damn stubborn. I had wondered why. I don't anymore.

So I shifted to the back of the bus and smiled a grateful smile when I spotted Sambodhi, a classmate of mine. We had been in the same section in class 7 hence we knew each other quite a bit more than the hi-bye types. I plopped down onto a seat next to her, the very last seat, towad a corner of the bus. A seat which would forever be claimed as mine. I didn't know that then.

I was nervous, not unduly so. I knew Sambodhi, her brother Prabuddh, our Head Boy and Pratham, another prefect personally. And another dude by the name of Sohit. He I knew cuase of his nefarious activities in and around the school, he was sort of the bad boy of our school. I chatted away with Sambodhi once in a while and basically just stared out of the window. Our stop was the second last, before Sambodhi's. We shared it with another class x boy, who's name I later learnt was Rahul Sylvester.

I was not very impressed with my method of transportation. it was nothing but a mean of reaching school and back. I had travelled in a bus once before in class 4 and it was okay, mildly enjoyable. But then this was Pallavi and I was wrong.

Day two I stumbled out of the bus naueseous and annoyed. I understood why the girl had been finicky about me vandalising her property on day one. Apparently these idiots had a reservation system. And so I was stuck in the last seat. Gifted with a driver who was gifted with a knack of steering our bus into lanes physically impossible to fit into for a vehicle that size. Plus the amout of speed brakers we hit did not do anything to help. I remember being fascinated by the way none of the bus people were fazed or interrupted during their talks, they just bounced up and came down, their flow uninterrupted.

And then slowly I got to know them. And my world was not the same anymore. We became a group of 7 guys and 2 girls including myself and my brother. I was part horrfied, part amazed at the jokes they cracked and the things they did. They belonged in a zoo. And the funny part I wanted to be in that zoo, with them!
I got to know Sylvester, the guy at my stop. A sweetheart, with spectacles pushed up on his nose and the most stupid grin you've ever seen. Provided fodder for jokes and was the fodder for countless others on a number of occasions! Sambodhi, myslef and my brother used to get a kick out of trying to decipher what exactly the hell he was speaking in that Tamilian accent. Yes! Tamilian he was. A fact that surprised us and mortified him when he learnt the same of us. He used to discuss Tamil movies and so on with us and was flabbergasted at our illiteracy. We enjoyed his reatcion! Sylvester, flabbergasted is something worth seeing if you want to life a happy and satisfied life!

Sambodhi. What can I say? I learnt so much about her, everytime I spoke with her. I'd just known her as Sambodhi, a girl of my class in 7th but now, this new and improved version was constantly amazing me with every aspect of her personality. A fiery, no - nosense girl , she held her own against our rowdy guys and soon left me wondering whether she was the same girl I had known but a year ago. She became my sister in arms, we pulled pranks on the boys together and were praned on together. I vented out my frustrations to her and she to me. We talked and talked and discussed songs, movies, T.V shows and argued and gossiped and swooned over cute guys together and talked some more. It was bliss. She definetly changed me somewhere as a person and made me rethink things I took for granted. Wonderful to debate with. She's the only person I can say I've lost so many arguments to and so happily to I might add.

And then there was Ayush a.k.a Shorty. Bindass dude! Our senior, was the funny man of our group, 5 minutes into any coversation with him and I would burst out laughing. Did the most stupid things, exactly the kind of things we wanted! His favourite pastime was sticking his head out of the window to harass bewildered pedestrians. His killer dialouges were 'Mere ghar do kilo bhijwa dena!' , 'Oi! Terese hi baat karra!' and 'Arrey!' There was this shopkeeper dude who Ayush used to torment on a daily basis by saying 'namaste' to him and generally behaving like a mentally unstable person. We used to love it! Oddly enoudh the shopkeeper seemed to like us too, except his wife kept brandishing a broom in our faces and yelling curses at us for troubling her hubby.
Yeah, that made us laugh too. We laughed at every silly thing and that made us laugh some more!

Pratham (class x), christened 'Pinky' by Shorty and Sambodhi was another item. God! He was a paitent man. We used to pretend he was a girl and say stuff to him like, 'arrey pink lipstick suits you better!', 'Don't run so fast, you'll tear your miniskirt!' We used to point at the buffaloes on the highway and exclaim, 'Pinks! Dekh tera family jaara' Shorty toh used to look at a bufflo and shout, 'arrey Pratham, bus ke bahar kya karra?'
He took it all sportively and was a bindaas banda. His jokes were as merciless as ours but we enjoyed them all the same. His laugh was extremely pleasant to hear and was often heard pealing out, contagoious to anyone who heard it.

Prabuddh was a year elder to his sister, I knew him from class VIII, brilliant but occasionally annoying fellow. He probably thinks the same of me, minus the brilliant. Anyways, it did not take me long to figure out this dude was as much of a crackpot as his sister. So yeah, I liked him too.
And then there was Sohit, again class x, basically only Mukundh, Sambodhi and I were 9th graders. You know I had always wished for an elder brother and I ended up with a twin. I guess in a way my prayers were answered by Sohit. He is my brother, friend all rolled into one. I miss him propably the most in our group. I adore the others too no doubt, but this boy will always have a special place in my heart. A fiercely loyal friend, a coke addict, rebel, the most AMAZING dancer and a softie at heart, this buffalo is a friend I wouldn't give up for aything. I knew him through Mitisha, a common friend and initially did not know what to make of him. I didn't need to see his track record to know for sure that he was a trouble maker, that mischievous expression always made you want to check whether he had stuck glue to your chair or poured water on your seat. (Yes, Both of which happened to Sambodhi!) But behind that highly misjudged exterior I found a decent guy, who could shine provided he moved his backside to do so. He was the guy who cheered me up whenever I was low or frustrated by thrusting a coke bottle in my face! Whatever the problem, the answer was Coke! He made sure things didn't get too out of hand when Sambodhi and I fought and basically just kept us all together.
And then there was Raman. A friend, a memory. an important part of who I am today.

Those 45 minuets which I spent, to and from school, were the best parts of my day. I went to school with a smile on my face and returned home smiling. My group of course had a name for me too, LALA (courtsey: Sambodhi). Mitisha told me it sounded like a dog's name. I liked it nevertheless. I tasted my first Red Bull, travelled for the first time in a share auto, understood what it felt like to have coke in my hair and celebrated my victories and mourned my defeats along with these people. My flaps, sweater and yes even my socks were on more than one occasion held hostage by my bus mates who found that kind of thing enjoyable. They used to stare bemusedly when I would differentiate a male dog from a female one at first glance and used to laugh when I used to pine for street dogs with my nose pressed up against the glass. There was this foreigner who used to teach at a school near Pratham's bus stop. I was quite fascinated by her looks and used to fight with the boys to catch a glimpse of her. Pratham named her LISA and the name stuck ever since. They used to hog each others lunches, and basically anything that was edible. I was so proud the day they wolfed down the sandwiches I had made for Work Experience, they know just well, how to push my buttons.
Life has a meaning more profound than just shooting to the top and earning a big buck for yourself. Its about doing things that you don't have the courage to do and aiming for things others deem are out of your reach. The folks in Route No. 18 gave me all what I ever hoped for plus some more. They touched my life and changed it forever.
So this is dedicated to all ma homies Sambu, Sohit, Pratham, Mukundh, Sylvester, Shorty and Prabuddh.  KINDLY STAY IN TOUCH OR I WILL FIND YOU AND MURDER YOU.
Thankyou

To Be Or Not To Be

Life is one interesting, confusing paradox.
There are so many ways you can live it, so many ways you can waste it but ultimately it comes down to this.
It's never going to be yours again.
I love my life. It is not perfect, far from it. But it is mine and that is enough for me. I love my achievements, my failures, the flaws in my personality, the quirks in my nature. I love every blessing that God has showered me with and acknowledge the curses that comes with being human. I love life enough to see the point in letting it go.
Death is unpredictable and unreliable. It may happen in a hundred years or right now. It is not something that I fully understand but then, I don't want to. Why complicate uncomplicated things? Ah! I'm wandering off again, but then I don't feel like sticking to a topic, I'm too distracted for that.
Mortality is not something that set's is quickly for the youth. They live like they'll never die and die lie they've never lived. Sigh. Annoying creatures. They go searching for happiness, something that is found on the INSIDE. Yes I'm one of those morons.

source: http://www.robi-bobi.net/pictures/sunset/sunlight-contrast.jpg
On more than one occasion I have wondered about past and future lives. Not that I believe in this stuff, but I am intrigued by it. The only life I've known is mine. So I wonder, if I had been placed in someonelse's shoes, given someonelse's resources, would I still have turned out to be me? Is it the personality or the situation that make or break a person? I don't have an answer to this  . . . probably will never have. But then something is life are just so eh?

source: http://www.palmer-photoart.com/img/KiwiContrast.jpg

Why do I like blue? And why does she like pink? Why do I like Pizza's while my brother salivates over burgers? Why am drawn to some people, repulsed by others?
Why are animals easier to be around than humans? Why do I do something even when I know its wrong? Why do I shout and then apologize and then fall back into the same rut again?
Why is the world so EXTREME? Extreme poverty or extreme richness? Extreme beauty or extreme ugliness? Extreme joy or extreme pain? Extreme good and extreme bad? What can i say?
It is just so . . . . . . . . . . .

source: http://www.virtualspeechcoach.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/contrast-zebra.jpg

The Great Indian Family

Life in a nuclear family is predictable. A dad, a mom, one  . . . two kids max . . .maybe even grandparents, or a pet. Clashing schedules, busy work hours, raging tempers, sissy fits . . . . seems like a plateful ain't it? But eh! yeh kya cheez hai?! Ask anyone . . . after the thrill and confusion of living in a joint family, a family of just four seems too dry, too boring. The masala and nonsense of joint families can never be matched by just four dudes!

Indians have long been known for having strong family ties and it was only decades ago, when we started aping the west and breaking away from joint families to start nests of our own. I, myself coming from a nuclear family, never really understood the allure of a joint one. Don't get me wrong . .my family is pretty close knit . .with my cousins, aunts and uncles staying just a stone's throw away . . . but it just isn't the same thing. I had my first taste of the power of community living only this summer, on a trip to Chennai and Bangalore . . . and let me tell you . . . IT BLEW MY MIND!

source : http://www.mafamily.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/happy-family-slide.jpg

It was raining boys. Lemme explain . . . summer is always a favourite for arranging functions . . .with the reason being almost everyone can make it. Tamilians are no exception. Punal or the 'thread wearing' ceremony which is performed for every Brahmin boy when he comes of age was the pick of the season.

I shuttled back and fourth between Chennai, Hyderabad and Bangalore to visit my scattered relatives. Pretty far relations . . let me tell you . . but nobody cares if you're twice removed or related from their side of the family. You are simply welcome! Indians (if I'm not wrong) follow the policy of 'The more the merrier' and true dat! Throughout the summer I had flowers in my hair and sapad ( traditional tamilian cuisine) stuffed down my throat! After two weeks of scarfing down the same thing, my bro and I were yearning for a burger like you wouldn't believe! 

source: http://southindianfoods.in/images/south_indian_meal.jpg

I'm not really good at remembering names and stuff so I pretty much looked like a fool when relatives started pouring in and asking 'Arrey beta? Remember me?!' I would smile uneasily and turn to my parents who would shake their head and step in to do damage control. I mean its not really my fault! Did you know my paternal grandfather had 11 siblings! Family bolo! But still by the end of my Chennai trip I was fairly successful in memorising a few names and quite a few faces. And it felt good! I mean, when people who you've hardly met, tied to you only by blood, come up to you and shower you with love . . .you feel blessed.

I guess such occasions are hard to get, so they make every one count! And even though . . many times I felt stifled and like a test rat in laboratory . .poked and prodded at . . it was worth every minute. Seeing my parents and grandparents joy of meeting up with and the pride in introducing myself and my brother to old acquaintances gave me a warm, content sort of feeling.

source: http://www.likecool.com/Gear/Pic/Cutest%20Rats/Cutest-Rats-7.jpg

And then we were on the move again. We were back in my hometown, the city of my birth,  Bengaluru! Here I was not quite so clueless, for the folks I was here to see were the kind of people you never forget. It was the punal of my second cousin, Aditya.  The only cousin our age which makes him all the more dear to my brother and I. I strolled in feeling confident and smug like a villain twirling his moustache! Ha! I knew what to expect THIS time! And BAM! Again I was proved wrong! I felt like someone had picked me up and placed me in the middle of a play where all the actors had forgotten their lines and none of the props were in place. Not to say I didn't like it . . . I actually did like it . .the confusion, it made me see everyone as my own, no differences or lines drawn  . . . I called all the grandmothers pati there ( Tamil for . .you guessed it! Grandmother!) and on many an occasion . . . I felt like my cousins were my siblings. It was a pleasant feeling indeed.

My cousin, his younger sister, my brother, another cousin and I totally tripped out! Our afternoons were spent playing monopoly and our evenings in the park. Aditya, my brother and I would often steal away for some 'big people' talk leaving the younger ones pouting and we would discuss the topics under the sun! My mom's cousin and his wife (My mama and mami ) were the real stars of the show, they planned the whole program to go off without a hitch . . . providing a real pleasant ride for the rest of us and giving us ample time to socialize and catch up with what was going on with whom.

We visited some old friends too and had a blast. After 5 years of not seeing each other . .it was like we were practically strangers . . . yet dejavu soon got the better of us and soon we were filling gap the years had left behind with our chatter. 

source: http://www.alaska-in-pictures.com/data/media/20/kids-launch-at-the-park_4473.jpg

And the weather just seemed to be mirroring my mood! Cool, pleasant, calm and content. I probably miss the rush for the bathroom early in the mornings and my cousins the most. At the end of the trip I was sad to go indeed. I had discovered a writer in Aditya, a nautanki in his sister Keerthana and surprisingly a team player in myself. On many occasions the most I want is to be left alone . . . yet on this trip, with even no time to breathe I wanted people around me all the time. Maybe it might have gotten old after a while and maybe I might have begun to yearn for my space again. I do know the share of problems that comes from living in joint families but this trip convinced me that all that is a small price to pay for receiving the unconditional love of family.

I don't see us actually living in a joint family in the near future . . .but I am sure of one thing! The next time my parents book a train to Bengaluru or Chennai or wherever . . . I'll be the first one packing my suitcase! 

source: http://whatkatdidnext.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/girlsuitcase3512288106_6420fd5e03_bjpg1.jpg

Homegirl

Ever heard of stories in which people see someone directly across the room, their eyes meet, a small smile plays up in the corners of their mouths and they realize that they've found their soul mates? This is not one of those stories. This is a story of how I did meet my soul mate, one of my best friends Janani. It's her birthday this 12th and I'm writing this to show her how much she matters to me. Let's begin with my usual unrelated introduction. Life is a funny bunny no? Nothing is constant in it except for you. Its an amazing journey with your goal at the end. But I've come to realize that often the road is better than the destination itself . . . you know like Moose says in Step Up 3 (Watch the movie if you don't get my reference ;) )

source: http://www.creativelydifferentblinds.com/BlindImages/5028.jpg

So anyway, an important part of this journey are the people you meet on the way and the relationships you forge. A man is often judged by the company he keeps and I'm lucky to say that in that department I'm more than blessed. The quality not quantity of your friends matters and I'm proud to confess that I have 4 of the most awesome people as my best friends! They mean the world to me and its funny how the only thing that we don't have in common is blood! I would give them more preference than some of my own relatives. Families are the friends that Life picks out for you, but friends are the family that you pick out for life.

source: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjihDnlUuPAQpquwIPUedT0F_pr6HuU2mh6GO7JTAg6qW3C8IPEJDlpXw22OfSL6ozqEPgWHhww_mRy-LiEWKxMvpc5THhGA5M8izZE613IJLmXIh_2JXzO6w-WoAZbZuTEbHqkS3xqTk/s1600/friends.jpg

 It's kind of an open secret that I don't connect to people much. Oh yeah I'm all bubbly and friendly on the surface but odds are if I've met you we probably shared a few laughs but that's it. You wont know my innermost feelings, my strongest opinions. But hey, its like that for everyone right? That's what best friends are for! (Plz ignore me if I'm rambling, I tend to do that) Anyways, to get to the point we're an unlikely pair and not something that I expected would happen.The friendship is still fresh out of the oven! But that doesn' t mean its something unimportant. On the contrary, it's one of the best thing that's ever happened to me. Getting to the point yet again, as I recall Janani and I met in the 7th grade. One of the earliest memories I have of her is her teeth chattering in the cold! (Yeah, hell of a memory I know . . but if you'd been there, you would've remembered it too! She looked like a cartoon)

source: http://www.sky-wallpaper.com/uploads/2010-12/snow-girl-wallpaper/1292420902-20WNK1D.jpg

We didn't hit it off right away, but like I said my friends are the world to me and to put long things short I was latoo on Smruthi at the time. Yeah, so she was this cute kid, silent (to me), studious and funny. I never thought much of it but at the end of the year We began to speak more freely and in class 8 we were a bit more than just hi-bye friends. I have no idea why but at the end of that year I had confessed most of my secrets to that girl. I'm never usually that open to people. I tend to clutch my cards close to my chest, it took me the longest time to open up to Smruthi as well. The only other person who I've done that to is Mititsha but it was with the security that she was my senior and had a safe distance and perspective from what was going on in my life. 

source: http://aztaree.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/friends1.jpg


In the beginning of class 9 we started conversing over the phone. And thus we began drifting closer to each other. The more I talked to her the more I realized how stupid I had been. I hadn't see something as great as her right under my nose! She amazed me with her opinions on just about everything, her kind of dry sense of humour, her crack-ness! But it was not until one day on the phone when she told me' I love you' that I realized how close we'd become! Before you knew it we started meeting up in school. I still remember our adda, by the staircase, we had to discontinue meeting there due to some reasons and had to settle for meeting in front of either of our classes but when I did meet her it seemed like a load had gotten of my chest. Today when I see her I smile automatically . . . she has that effect on me! She's one of the most real people I've met you know? She doesn't try to hide her opinions and gives everyone a piece of her mind. It came as kind of a shock for diplomatic me! I had gotten used to trying to please everyone and trying to tailor my opinions to fit their fancy and she came as a breath of fresh air. She is extremely beautiful, this was also another thing that I realized in class 8 itself.

source: http://stockfresh.com/files/i/iofoto/m/71/7493_stock-photo-girl-children-twin-sisters.jpg

But what captivates me is on the inside . . . We are two very different people yet we get along like a house on fire! We are so differently opinionated. I have my whole future mapped out for me, she just cares about living in the 'now'! It is rightly said that looks are deceptive! Don't let that pretty exterior fool you! She:
a) Talks in the most non-stop, no-nonsense manner possible!
b) Roughs me up all the time, though I'm almost four inches taller than her!
c) Is bloody impulsive and doesn't think before speaking/doing whats on her mind!
d) she loves to eat! ( yeah whats up with that? but just another reason for me to love her! It's not every day that you get a teenage girl proclaiming that she loves to hog! Next to me, Lay's is her best friend! )
e) Talks in her sleep (awww! how cute! Bella does that in twilight! Again, read the book if you don't get my reference :D)

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And its kiraak that she feels the same way about me too, when I love someone I accept them as a whole, no conditions or terms and that's all I ask of the other person too, to love me for who I am. And if I do find a person like that I sure as hell don't let go! So this is an ode to my girl, my best friend, my sister Janani . . . Thank you for gracing my life with your presence. Thank you for accepting me as a whole, faults and all and most of all thank you for making my journey that much more memorable! She's a year younger than me, but doesn't look like it! She displays wisdom that surpasses her age! So Happy Birthday girl and with the blessings of Lay's may you live a happy and prosperous life! I love you :).

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(P.S : About the heading 'Homegirl' I picked it up from the Big Bang Theory . . it means  . .. all of the above!)

I Love You

"Mamma! I wanna a dog!" I remember screeching as a seven-year-old. It's pretty obvious that I'm gaga over anything that moves on fours! Well, I started early. I found a fellow animal enthusiast in my grandfather. When I was a little kid we used to conspire on smuggling a dog into the house ( my mom had firmly put her foot down and said 'it's either you or the dog' Well, you can hardly argue with that can you? ). I remember sitting in the balcony with him in the evenings, clapping my hands and shrieking with laughter as he mused on which dog we would get. He would go along just to humor me, but for me it was a fantasy! I could hardly wait to get home from school and continue our discussions. And for three months I ate, slept, and breathed dogs until I finally convinced my granddad to actually get a dog.

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When we shifted to Hyderabad a month later, I had my first glimpse of the dog. My dog. I remember getting down from the car and watching with wide eyes. She was just a puppy then. He'd chained her to keep her from  running to us. We were strangers then, hardly having met. She yapped and growled, feisty little lady, until my granddad had convinced her we were of no threat. I named her Dome ( pronounced Domee ). Today she's a 40 kg, brownish black, German shepherd. To me she's God's greatest gift. It's been 10 years since we first met yet every time I see her I fall in love with her all over again! I love having a pet! I feel its something every child should experience. Dogs are much like children themselves, innocent and  charged with energy!

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There's a reason behind why dogs are called man's best friend. They are so much more than just animals, they are sentient beings who live and feel the same way we do. Its so much more uncomplicated with them you know . . . . I guess that's why people grow and evolve as a person after having a pet. They are able to tune in much more quickly to human emotions versus a person who's life has been untouched by such silent companions. There's a reason behind why children yearn for pets . . . they cater to your emotional needs on such a basic level, falling in love with them is an invariable factor . . . it just happens. Ever wondered why people did not have a tough time communing with something that can't respond back through words? Well when you're dealing with something with which you don't have the bluster of words to hide behind your true intentions come to life. That's why animals, dogs in particular make such excellent judges of character.
My dog is sort of an emotional anchor for me. I can vent out my heart to her, tell her about my whole day or just blabber to her in general and I know by the way she cocks her head and pricks up her years that she understands what I'm saying. When I speak her undivided attention is on ME. Tell me how many people can give you that time of day? One? Two? Yeah the worlds a fast place, there's no time anymore. Plus with a dog you can be yourself. They don't care if your fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, rich or poor, they just love you for who you are and that is a great feat by any standard.

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The utter faithfulness of a dog is commendable, the other day I was watching Hachiko and was literally in tears cause what I saw was a wonderful portrayal of the truth. It does not apply to that dog in particular rather to their whole kind, once a dog gives you his heart he invariably gives you his life too. He will die trying to protect you, you will be the thing that matters most. I doubt anyone in today's world would be so liberal! And for what? They are so free in giving their love, the street dog next to my wags her tail and makes these cute whinny noises whenever I go near just because I put out water for her during the summers along with stale bread or biscuits every evening! But the girl at school won't even smile back at me just cause I'm more popular than her! Honestly what an extraordinary waste of time! Why hate when you can love? The world's seriously a weird place to live in people . . . !!

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A touch says so much.
A pat on my dog's head tells her 'I care for you'
A kiss on her snout tells her 'I love you'
A loving caress says 'You matter to me'
A big hug tells her ' My life is incomplete without you'
Probing fingers when she's hurt tell her 'I'm concerned'
A nudge with my leg tells her 'Oi! Get outof my way!'
Its the small things which matter with her. Literally! She doesn't need to understand the words I'm saying, she gets what she needs to know through my tone. She doesn't care if I buy her chew toys or balls, she cares about me joining her in playing with those things. She doesn't need for me to cook her a heavy three-course meal, plain old Parle-G will do as long as its fed to her with the utmost love.

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I wish all relationships in life could be as uncomplicated as that. There's a single rule you have to follow while dealing with animals in general. You give love, you get love back. And that's why I loathe people who torture animals for the sake of it, they are capable of so much love and understanding but are chased around streets and are beaten mercilessly just because they have no human mouth to scream with? Just because the same emotions of pain and fear look different when portrayed on a face that's not human? Well that's just sick. I wrote this today in an attempt to make people around me understand my fascination for the subject and the world in general to know what they're missing out on!
All the best people in the world have pets! Its a proven fact!

source: animals.desktopnexus.com