Mistakes. Mistakes sum up the entire essence of human existence. Some mistake in the genetic programming of our primate ancestors led to the evolution of the first ever human. A mistake in natures normal pattern ensured that brains and not brawn would emerge victorious and somehow we ended up as the dominant species on this planet. Our history is dotted with mistakes, small mistakes and huge ones, mistakes that caused war and bloodshed and mistakes that resulted in amazing new discoveries! Mistakes that were frowned upon and mistakes that were applauded!
Hence it wouldn't be surprising to realize that even in our lives we commit colossal and minuscule blunders both knowingly and unknowingly every day! When we think about it mistakes are such commonplace things that often are rendered inconsequential with the passage of time. So it comes as a shock that every time we do commit mistakes we feel as if they are the end of the world when in reality they are just a microscopic glitch in the entire fabric of our lives. But then again, we humans are the creatures of the present so we feel everything poignantly and to full effect.
Well, this realization hit home today with mind-numbing force. Sometimes you make mistakes that are so huge that they change the way you view your life forever!
I committed one such mistake. I hurt a friend. I did the unspeakable. I took him for granted.
Hence it wouldn't be surprising to realize that even in our lives we commit colossal and minuscule blunders both knowingly and unknowingly every day! When we think about it mistakes are such commonplace things that often are rendered inconsequential with the passage of time. So it comes as a shock that every time we do commit mistakes we feel as if they are the end of the world when in reality they are just a microscopic glitch in the entire fabric of our lives. But then again, we humans are the creatures of the present so we feel everything poignantly and to full effect.
Well, this realization hit home today with mind-numbing force. Sometimes you make mistakes that are so huge that they change the way you view your life forever!
I committed one such mistake. I hurt a friend. I did the unspeakable. I took him for granted.
To me, being cherished and appreciated by my loved ones is the highest satisfaction that life has to offer! I never considered this to be true for those around me as well. I have always prided myself for being a staunch and loyal friend, however nothing is as it appears to be. All that glitters is indeed not gold. I did realize that things were not functioning ideally in our friendship however I rather chose to ignore the cracks in our perfect facade hoping that they would magically heal themselves. However I forgot that I was dealing with a sentient human being and not some lifeless robot capable of regeneration.
Let me be more precise. As I have always maintained I have had exactly 3 best friends my whole life and he is one of them. However calling him my best friend would be a gross understatement, he is my brother, my family member, an intrinsic part of who I am. Still, like countless others before me who are fortunate enough to be blessed with angles for friends we often fail to recognize the real deal and are jolted harshly to our senses only when we are in danger of that very thing slipping through our fingers. The problem in our case was that he is an angel and I am an insensitive wreck. He is the type of person who cares less about how people treat him and more about how he treats them. He can never remain angry for long and usually gets over being offended pretty quickly.
I realize now that I had unconsciously taken his saintly nature for granted and had mistaken him to be exactly that. A saint. I forgot that he too is a real person with very real feelings that are in danger of being hurt.
I consciously chose to spend time with my other friends over spending time with him as I was full of the misplaced confidence that whatever happened I could run back to him if things were to come crashing down. That is where things went south. I had reduced him to a fallback. An option. No friends of yours should ever treat you as an option! Yet that is what I did! Unconsciously, it may be but I stripped our friendship of any value by not giving it any importance. Even the most firmly rooted tree will curl up its roots and die if you refuse to water it. That is exactly what happened in this case. Relationships are like trees, that will weather almost any storm, will stand fast even in the strongest of gales provided their foundation is strong, their roots are firm. And the key to having strong roots is to nourish your relationship regularly by pouring love, warmth and caring into it.
I have learnt my lesson now and I am trying hard to mend walls and fix fences however I do have the sense that things are never going to be the same again. As the legendary poet Rahim Das says:
Rahiman Dhaaga Prem Ka
Mat Thodo Chattkaye
Toote phir na jure
Jure toh gannt padh jaye
Meaning: Do not break the string of love.
Once broken it will not join again.
Even if it does there will always be a knot in it as a reminder
Still, an intact string is any day preferable to a broken one and hopefully with due diligence and attention to detail this knot will soon fade into anonymity and our friendship will once more regain its light and hearty flavor. I hope for the best..
